It’s been so, so stupid in political La-La Land of late. Bad stupid! One might have thought we’d enjoy a reprieve after the presidential elections. But, no. And there’s just so much stupidity one can tolerate. I’m at capacity. Maybe worse. Beyond the point of satiety, my dear, darling father might have said. When he was above ground, routinely forming complex sentences with multisyllabic words. And gently chuckling at the world’s idiots.
But I’m not laughing. That’s for sure. Not that I haven’t tried.
I tried pretty hard to laugh at New Mexico’s House Bill 206, a dull-witted attempt at legislation that would make “procuring or facilitating an abortion” a felony in cases of rape and incest. The bill’s primary sponsor, pro-life State Rep. Cathrynn Brown—an attorney, and may I add that she lends the profession no credence—wants rape and incest victims’ resulting fetuses to develop to term so the infants can be used as evidence, a supposed deterrent to rapists.
Today’s poster child for the anti-abortion movement: Exhibit A.
Clearly, Brown has been whopped upside the head with the stupid stick, and her legislative prowess is an exhibition of idiocy (the juxtaposition of her signage warned of this failure). And it gets worse: She forgot to indicate in the bill who would be charged with the felony, so she now says she’s going to fix the language to protect victims from prosecution. Which leaves all the usual suspects to be charged under the law: family members and friends who support the victim’s choice, clinic workers and doctors who counsel the patient and perform the abortion, and all those New Mexico rapists who obtain abortions for their victims. Oy.
Of course, that’s if the bill were to pass. Which is as unlikely as, hmmm, I don’t know, maybe Sarah Palin’s finally apologizing for accusing President Obama of “shuckin and jivin” back in October, after a deadly attack on our diplomats in Benghazi, Libya. That pasty-white chick can pretend with a wink and a snarky grin to her mostly pasty-white devotees that she doesn’t understand the term is a racist slur. But if she thinks anyone else would fall for that, she’s surely been hit with the stupid stick.
Palin makes “dumb blonde” jokes look smart. … Oh, my—surely that was not offensive!
Seriously, when Palin can find Benghazi on a map, that’s when she can talk about foreign— . Well, no, let’s just leave it at finding the city on a map: That’s a good challenge for her. And she’ll have plenty of time to look for it, now that Fox Psneus reportedly didn’t offer her a big enough contract to keep her ego inflated. As she continues to fade into her lamestream media’s peripheral vision, perhaps she’ll find comfort in the fact that she’ll always know where Russia is.
Sadly, though, Russia’s legislature is no more adept at ducking the stupid stick than Missy Sarah. The Russian State Duma’s proposed Article 6.13.1 would ban “propaganda of homosexualism among minors” and impose stiff fines on offenders.
Say what? Yep, the remnant of our worthy Cold War propaganda adversary is now opposed to that of the LGBTQ-rights variety—despite decriminalizing homosexual acts in 1993. Already-enacted local versions of the proposed federal law have resulted in arrests for such propagandizing as carrying rainbow flags and wearing rainbow suspenders at last year’s May Day march in St. Petersburg.
Gays recruiting minors with the lure of rainbow suspenders; you can’t get much more stupid than that.
So, let’s see: That’s 388 smacks with the stupid stick for each of the Duma deputies who voted for the bill on its first pass through Russia’s lower house, “low” being the key word in this context. Or perhaps troglodytic is more apropos.
Either way, it’s stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid …
Kit-Bacon Gressitt's commentary and political fiction can be read on her blog Excuse Me, I'm Writing and have been published by San Diego Gay & Lesbian News, The Ocean Beach Rag, The Progressive Post and San Diego Free Press. She formerly worked for the North County Times. She is also host of Fallbrook's monthly Writers Read open mic and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.