"It's hard to talk when you're teabagging." - Anderson Cooper shares a bit too much on CNN.
As the year draws to a close, it's time for our 2009 wrap-up. While we've never been accused of being the most political of columns, it should be mentioned that shortly after taking office as Secretary of State at the beginning of the year, Hillary Clinton decreed that all GLBT employees of the Department of State will enjoy the same benefits as their hetero counterparts. So far, she's way ahead of Obama in keeping her promises.
Lots of familiar names came out of the closet this year. Farrell, Gere and Evans, for example. In each case, the gay person is the brother of the more famous sibling. Colin Farrell's brother Eamon not only came out, but married his partner Steven Mannion - with Colin standing up as his best man. Alas, the couple had to get married in Canada, since gay marriages are still illegal in their native Ireland. However, over the holidays, the pair arranged a reception in Dublin to celebrate the union with family and friends.
Richard Gere's brother David came out and was barely able to get married! "My brother is gay and he got married in that brief period when gay marriage was allowed in California. They have two great kids and he's a wonderful father."
Sexy Chris Evans' equally hot brother Scott is gay. Chris went on record saying, "It's mindboggling and appalling that human beings are being denied civil rights in this country." A few months later, Scott joined the cast of "One Life to Live", and is now the focus of a hot gay storyline. Coming out certainly hasn't hurt his career.
Things weren't so peachy elsewhere on daytime television. The "Guiding Light" was snuffed out and "As the World Turns" is about to stop spinning. This means we'll lose the delicious "Luke" and "Noah" storyline - but I suspect we'll be seeing much more of Van Hansis down the road.
On the positive side, "Phillip Chancellor III" returned to "The Young and the Restless", despite having died in a car crash 20 years ago (and having been seen as a ghost). When the character returned to Genoa City, he was revealed to have faked his own death rather than tell people he was gay! The role is played by openly gay actor Thom Bierdz, who originated the part and had a hand in developing this new development. While his presence on the show is questionable right now, he can be proud to have been part of a historic storyline.
Mariah Carey showed herself to be a true friend to our community. After hearing from a young gay man that his partner would only marry him if he got to meet Mariah, she arranged to bring the couple onstage during a performance. One proposed, one accepted, and Carey had champagne on ice to celebrate.
Belinda Carlisle recorded a public service announcement supporting Protect Maine Equality saying, in part, "My son James is gay, and I want him and every other gay person out there to have the same opportunities and rights as I've had in life." Her autobiography, "Lips Unsealed: A Memoir", will be released in May.
Meredith Baxter came out or, rather, was pushed out after pics of her on a lesbian cruise were leaked to the tabloids. She's parlayed this into a book deal of her own, to say nothing of renewed acting opportunities. Sadly, Kelly McGillis was on the same boat and couldn't even get arrested!
Sexy Matthew Bomer resurfaced on the USA network's "White Collar". He also surfaced on the net in a few pics making out with a very hot guy. Bomer, currently dating his very powerful publicist, made no comment. But the other guy did. Mike White confirmed that he and Bomer were a couple from 2001 to 2004. We also came into possession of a hot pic of White, which made one long for a sex tape to leak of this duo. Until then, at least you can see them in all their glory on BillyMasters.com.
Cleveland Indians center fielder Grady Sizemore found himself in a bit of hot water. A number of extremely risqué pics that he took of himself for his Playmate gal pal ended up on the web. While his people forced the pics to be removed from virtually all websites, they have remained on one. Guess which one!
Grady wasn't the only guy taking nasty pics in his bathroom mirror. Oscar-winner Jamie Foxx did the same thing, but with a twist - he showed the goods at full attention! Why he took the pic and how it surfaced on the web is a mystery. What we know for sure is he immediately claimed ownership and threatened legal action against any site posting it. And yet...
The "Twilight" craze continued this year. Robert Pattinson may be the star of the flick, but if you ask me (which I know you would), he's the least appealing of the boys - despite some convincing body makeup. Taylor Lautner did the seemingly impossible - he went from the brink of being fired from the sequel because he wasn't buff enough to transforming his body into that of a superhero. But he was no match for Kellan Lutz, who has showed off one of the most impressive physiques all over Tinseltown (despite having two lines in the film and never taking off his shirt). He can take heart that Calvin Klein is a fan and wants to see him in his undies.
First the paparazzi snapped Channing Tatum on vacation looking...well, looking fat! A month later, GQ ran a photo spread with the hunk missing at least 30 pounds and gaining abs! Then a video surfaced of an 18-year-old Chan as a member of "Male Encounter" - an all-male revue that was based in Florida. Apparently this stripping led to being cast in Ricky Martin's "She Bangs" video - which explains oh-so-much. The video, pics, and even a full-frontal snap from his modeling days can be found on BillyMasters.com.
Joan Rivers has once again risen from the ashes. After several well-documented setbacks, Joan and Missy were back on TV with "Celebrity Apprentice". Missy may have had a meltdown, but Auntie Joan ended up on top. Now E! has rehired Joanie to helm the "Fashion Police" red carpet specials. She won't be on the red carpet, but she'll host the post-award show wrap-ups, starting with a Golden Globe special on January 18th.
We even had a few Fayewatch items. My favorite was when Miss Dunaway learned that a remake of "Bonnie and Clyde" was being prepared as a vehicle for Hillary Duff. Faye was quick to weigh in: "Couldn't they at least cast a real actress?" It could have been worse - it could have been planned for Brittany Murphy! What? Too soon?
When I'm making jokes in questionable taste, it's definitely time to end yet another year of columns. What a year it has been, what a rare mood I'm in, but it's nothing like being in love. However, I'm in love with each and every fan - especially the ones who regularly check out www.BillyMasters.com. While I'm ringing in the New Year in Fort Lauderdale, I'm still answering e-mails. So feel free to drop a note to [email protected] and I promise to get back to you before return to Hollywood (just in time for the Golden Globes). So, until next year, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.