We’ve all heard them. Many of us have been called them.
They are the labels we cling to and use to mark important moments in life; such as, my marching band nerd years from about 2000 to 2008. There are labels that bring us closer together, like best friend, girlfriend, wife. Since this is written mainly for the lesbian community, I will stick with a lesbian identifier that divides our community quite a bit: D-y-k-e, or, the "d-word."
In discussing this word and its presence in the world, I found many different points of view. A straight male friend said it was a word that didn’t offend him, but was also a word he would never use to describe someone. I would hazard to guess that that is the norm for most of them unless they are homophobic in some way.
However, several lesbians I talked with seemed split on the issue. Some view it as a word that used to be negative, that we have since "reclaimed," while others take it to be wholly offensive, to be used only by frat boys calling out some hottie who won’t give them the time of day.
There is also the argument that people use the "d-word" to describe a lesbian they don’t like, just the way you would call any annoying someone ... a ... say ... fartface jerk or dillweed.
Personally, I take it like I take all labels. If you don’t like it, don’t use it. Don’t use it to refer to yourself or anyone else.
It seems to me that lesbian social circles appear to have varying takes on it, so keep doing what you’re doing and cross that “d-word” bridge when you come to it. And even if some lez rubs you the wrong way (no pun intended), that shouldn't give you reason to call them a word that can often be taken as quite offensive. Their sexuality has nothing to do with the fact that they are just mean or inconsiderate.
I want to hear what you have to say! Would you wear a t-shirt with the word "d-y-k-e" on it in big, bold letters? Do you use it in casual conversation talking with or about your friends? Send me some feedback to [email protected].
The Weekly To-Do
There’s a smorgasbord of awesome things happening, so hang on to your hats, kids!
If you don’t want to attend the Occupy San Diego rally happening in the Gaslamp Quarter starting Friday night, there are plenty of other options for you to oogle.
Australian band An Horse, who have previously opened for Tegan & Sara, are making their way to the Delta Room at the House of Blues, San Diego to open for singer/songwriter Kevin Divine on Friday October 7.
The ladies of the band Bitter Sober are celebrating the release of their first full-length album, “It’s About Time,” by having a show at Ruby Room this Saturday, October 8. Runhoney, another local female-fronted band, will also be on hand to help them celebrate! Doors open at 9 pm, Runhoney will take the stage at 10 pm, with Bitter Sober following.
Thread, an awesome expo of indie fashion, music, and food, hits downtown this Sunday October 9th at Horton Plaza.
Feeling festive? Little Italy Festa will be chalk full of Italian treats, music, and art. Be sure to check out the gesso italiano chalk art painting!
Tori Roze and Ruby Room’s weekly installment of girl-fronted music, Ruby Tuesdays, hosts Melly Frances & The Distilled Spirits and Natasha Kozaily this Tuesday October 11.
Feel like heading out of town?
The Muskequeers of LA (two of which are from San Diego!) are hosting the next Thrashed in West Hollywood this Saturday, October 8. Sounds like an awesome party, and who doesn’t love a little weekend road trip?
Last but certainly not least, if you’re not into the 20s club scene anymore but still want to go out and have a good time, check out Inferno on the first Saturday of each month at Brass Rail in Hillcrest. Their next local dance isn't until November, but the ladies behind Inferno are setting their sights on the Long Beach scene, beginning on October 22 at Lush Lounge, with DJ dirty KURTY spinning.
There is still plenty of time to prepare and plan for the next big FlawLes Tie Party -- but take note -- this one happens to be in San Francisco on October 22. Check out those flights and see their website for discounts on area hotels.
The Venue Menu
Peruse this list at your leisure—these are the hottest local lesbian nights around town.
Thursdays - Repent at Rich’s Nightclub.
Fridays – Soul Kiss at The Flame.
Saturdays – Femme Fatale at Numbers.
Sundays – Ladies Night at Bourbon Street.
All Day, Every Day – Check out the action at Gossip Grill.
Sandy is a staff writer and lesbian social columnist for SDGLN. She holds a BA in English from San Diego State University yet works mainly in the healthcare industry. Sandy previously worked as a staff writer and copy editor for San Diego State's independent and student-lead The Daily Aztec reviewing concerts and films. She enjoys iced coffee, orangutans, and Balboa Park. But they again, who doesn't? Sandy can be reached at [email protected].