Trans View: Does transitioning make transgendered selfish?

The first eighteen to twenty-four months of transition for the transgender person can be an awkward period of appearance, very similar to puberty. 

It is during this timeframe that a "self-centered" person in transition would indeed not take family and friends into consideration, to allow time to adjust and accept this new exterior. 

It's common for the person in transition to feel as if they have finally exited "the cave" and now that they have finally accepted themselves, they want the world to accept them, too. 

However, just as it took years for the person in transition to accept themselves, they must also give family and friends a reasonable amount of time for adjustment.  Expecting anything else could be perceived as very self-centered and selfish of the transgender person.

The transition process for a transgender person is a very isolating time, and is a period of not only self-discovery, but of rediscovering the relationships with the people in their lives.  It is very common for family and friends to turn their backs on this person, leaving them isolated and alone.

The human condition is resistant to change. There is a tendency to fight the correct course of action, even though we know it must be taken, until the pain of not changing becomes greater than the fear of making that change. 

It is at this tipping point, when a transgender person's pain of not being their real selves finally becomes greater than the fear of losing everyone and everything they have; such as their family, their friends, their job, acceptance by society, etc.

Often the person in transition contemplates whether or not they have done the right thing and are at a much higher risk of suicide during this phase. Their traditional support systems are gone and they feel they have no where to turn.

Ironically, those who reject the transitioning transgender person often feel their decision was a selfish act.

Could it not be said that it is the person who rejected the transitioning person whom is actually the selfish one?  The one who is more concerned about what society's view of them will be for being associated with the person in transition, rather than the mental and physical health of the person they once called family or friend.

More about Chris Tina Bruce

Chris Tina Bruce is a male-to-female transgender bodybuilder, spokesperson and fitness talent.

She is the founder of Be Bold Be Proud, a grassroots non-profit transgender equality organization. She is also the founder of Discover Health and Fitness, a freelance writer and the proud parent of two amazing children.

She obtained her bachelor of science degree from Georgia State University, and is also a National Academy of Sports Medicine Certified Personal Trainer.

Chris Tina lives by some very simple rules and affirmations: All of life is a transition; where you are does not have to define who you will be and together we can cultivate change. Be Bold, Be Proud, Be Yourself.

For more information about Chris, her Fitness Fun Camps, private sessions, nutrition programs or next bodybuilding show, check out her website, check out the Hillcrest Fitness, follow her Facebook page, or on Twitter, or call (972) 989-6076.

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