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Bottoms Up: You are what you drink

SAN DIEGO -- They say that you are what you eat, but like those who choose to drink their dinner on occasion, I happen to believe that you are what you drink.

As someone who makes a living by scouring the streets to find top-shelf nightlife and entertainment, I know that what someone drinks can tell you a lot about them. Considering this to be true, I began to wonder why so many fickle queens settle for run-of-the-mill cocktails instead of demanding the best that bars have to offer.

So in true Rob fashion, with only one night before my deadline, I made it my personal mission to hit up some of San Diego’s best bars and restaurants in search of the city’s ultimate must have cocktails.

With my designated drinker Alfredo in tow, several hours later and more than a few drinks in, I had sipped my way from Up Town to Boys Town to Downtown and have narrowed down the contenders to these three master mixes. Listed in no particular order, the following cocktails are stiff, smooth and sure to please even the most discerning drinkers.

Basil Booty Call – The name had me sold. Provocative, fun and light, this bad boy of a beverage blew me away. Birthed by renaissance man James Stephenson, the executive chef and general manager of La Jolla Strip Club, the Basil Booty Call is one of the many provocatively themed martinis on his menu. Don’t let the basil throw you off. This martini has been perfected paired with Ketel One vodka, fresh lemon, basil and simple syrup. What's this drink saying? Like all good booty calls, this baby goes down smooth without leaving a bad taste in your mouth.

Spring Smoke – Sip, sip, pass. Don’t mess up the rotation. It’s fresh, tangy and rich. The attention to detail is one of the most attractive qualities of this drink. Served up fresh by certified sommelier Jeff Josenhans in antique glassware at the Grant Grill inside the stunning US Grant Hotel downtown, this mix of apple-wood-smoked cane sugar, Death’s Door White Whiskey and Meyer lemon juice, topped with a dollop of egg white foam and garnished with blood-orange zest is the Audrey Hepburn of cocktails. What's this drink saying? Leave the go-go boots at home. You are one classy queen who is a lady in the streets, but a freak in the sheets.

Me So Horny – Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Remember the Big Gulp fountain drinks from 7-Eleven? It’s like that … with tequila. Owner Chris Shaw and his staff lovingly refer to this drink as “The Big One” at the iconic Hillcrest hangout, Baja Betty’s. The massive 32-ounce margarita is made with Hornitos 100% agave, Triple Sec, fresh lime, sweet & sour - and comes complete with its own rubber ducky. Drinkers beware, I remember downing three of these a couple of weeks ago … well, actually, I don’t remember, but that’s the problem. What's this drink saying? You drink like a real man and you’re out to prove it. Think hairy bear with a trucker hat.

So what’s the moral of this story? Lemme tell you ‘bout it. Whether you are a trucker-hat-toting burly bear or an uber-trendy twink in the making, a drink is worth a thousand words. I encourage you to remember that the next time you plan on putting something in your mouth.

Until next time … cheers to being forever young, fun and oh so fabulous. Bottoms up!

Wanna chime in? Readers can contact Robert Corea at robert@sdpix.com