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Dishing dirt with "Chico's Angels"

SAN DIEGO -- “Chico’s Angels,” a spot-on spoofery, will be coming to San Diego on Aug. 12-14 and August 19-21. The Angels are a blend of the Three Stooges, Latino drag queens and some fairly obvious 1970s TV classics.

If you love a campy good time, check out the Angels at the Diversionary Theatre, where they are renting the stage and will be performing with Jai Rodriguez of “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy” fame for the San Diego run of the show.

The Angels work for Chico solving crime around the world with the help of their “Bosley,” “Bossman.” When the girls aren’t fighting crime they can usually be found gallivanting around the country, scantily clad and being fabulous.

Kay Sedia, Frieda Laye and Chita Parol are the best in the business for their price range - which is pesos on the dollar.

Kay, Frieda and Chita sat down with San Diego Gay and Lesbian News recently and dished about how they fight crime, Chico and their expulsion from the police academy.

1. What's the hardest part to being one of Chico's Angels?

KS: Fighting off all the hot mans that inebitably take of their chirts while I'm en a case!

FL: Finding the office.

CP: Balancing hitting with not hitting.

2. Would you ever consider adding a fourth angel to the group?

KS: Only if she's not as pretty as me, not as mean a Chita and not as estupida as Frieda. Oh, that sound mean, huh? Not as "smart handicapped" as Frieda.

FL: Have ju been reading Craig's List? Don't Fall for it, it's Bossman holding "Auditions". I felled for it three tines.

CP: No way, Jose!

3. What's the craziest situation you've gotten yourselves into while working for Chico?

KS: One tine I had to disguise myself as Charo to find out who trying to kill her en the Love Boat. That crazy, right?

FL: One tine, we had to go under the covers en a shocolate factory and the conbeyor belt started going too fast and me & Kay couldn't keep up and we stuck shocolate in our mouths and down our blouses!

CP: While undercover in a zoo, one time, I fought a bear and won. He just grabbed his twink boyfriend and went home crying.

4. Do you like working for Chico?

KS: I lob it!! I wish he would pay more, but how do ju put a price on jusing jur booty for the good of the peoples, right? I do it for the peoples.

FL: Oh, I lob it! He a kind an gentle man who only yell at us a little.

CP: The way he pays? It's more like volunteer for Chico ... but, yeah, it's exciting and I can hit people and not get arrested ... mostly.

5. Have you ever seen Chico?

KS: Nunca, but I imagine he have a cowboy hat, gold teeths and nice calves.

FL: No, but I think he look like Jesus, but fatter.

CP: No, I almost did one time, but Bossman distracted me by kissing me. I slapped him, then did another kiss to make chure I was mad.

6. If you could have one super power to help you fight crime, what would it be?

KS: I don't need esuper powers, I have my esuper model looks. But ju know what? I did play "Taco Chick" en a chort film. I'm an actoress, too!

FL: It would be the ability to spoke without an accent, sontine it gib me away, ju know?

CP: I wish I could run faster than a speeding restraining order

7. What's been your biggest bust to date while working for Chico?

KS: One tine, I were shasing a perp and the top 3 buttons of my blouse yust pop right off! So, three. Three is the biggest bust.

FL: One time I weared a pair that were DD ... wait.. no, yeah that was while working for Chico.

CP: This cop caught me right when I was sneking into my ex-boyfriend's window... Oh, you mean That I was busting? Ummm, we stopped a big high school hooker ring.

8. Are you glad that you failed out of the police academy so that you could become an angel?

KS: I didn't failed, they quit me, because I was too bootyful for them! Ju don't know my life!

FL: Oh, jes!!! We get to do stuff as detectibs that we can't do as cops ... like sleep with suspects or witnesses to got information!

CP : It's a nice consolation. I didn't want to be a real cop, anyways! That's Stupid!

9. What would the Angel's do for work if Chico had to close the detective agency?

KS: I can always fall back en my modeling & selling Tupperware.

FL: I already hab a second job as a "Dance Hostess" Massuer" or "Page."

CP: I would teach self-defense dancing.