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DVD review: "The Love Patient" is one sick puppy | VIDEO

Writer/director Michael Simon’s romantic dramedy, “The Love Patient,” is not very funny, not very romantic and not very dramatic.

On the other hand, the actors cast in thankless roles are pretty hot, so the scenery is nice if you can endure 95 minutes of dreary writing and a ridiculous plot.

“The Love Patient” was an official selection of 2011 Tampa International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, Reeling 2011: Chicago Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, and the 2011 Philadelphia QFest.

The premise is this: How far would you go to win back the love of your life?

Our anti-hero is Paul, a 30-something wiz at an advertising agency who works alongside his ex-boyfriend Brad. Paul is the self-centered type who lost his sensitive hunk of a boyfriend to a bisexual co-worker.

Paul concocts a ridiculous plot, enlisting his lifelong buddy who runs a cancer clinic, and pretends to have the “big C” in order to win back Brad. What ensues is a convoluted plot involving his bickering Jewish parents, his zany sister and their crazy friends.

Benjamin Lutz, John Werskey, Jackson Palmer, Madison Gray, Laura Ulsch, John Kilpatrick and Mike Pfaff star in this mess of a movie. None can elevate their characters beyond the cartoons created by Simon.

The details

“The Love Patient” debuts today on DVD. To purchase the DVD for $24.99 or to read more about the movie at TLA Releasing, click HERE.

Ken Williams is Editor in Chief of SDGLN. He can be reached at ken@sdgln.com, @KenSanDiego on Twitter, or by calling toll-free to (877) 727-5446, ext. 713.