If there’s one thing that we know about video gamers is that they love the cutting edge and the goodness of food.
Gamers like comfort, they like good food, they like to examine the hardware that they’re going to buy right down to the last decimal, and what better way to do it than through a dedicated food chair? After all, this was the only thing missing from our lives, comfort, and food, now we have comfort fused with food.
That’s a neologism to help us all out in understanding this new offering from the Gods of fast food and unfortunate beach whaling, McDonald’s.
The Official McCripsy Gaming Chair Is Now Available To McDonald’s Fans
In fact, we were just waiting for something like this to be created, after all even before video games, food and games were part and parcel of something like a game night, made more obvious that when going on a hunt, people would hunt for a game.
Although today most people do not need to scavenge and struggle for food, at least in the developed world, we are always up for new ways to ingest games when we’re on the hunt for our games.
Today, we can order food for our beloved twitch streamers, then why risk coke spillage on our precious keyboards and controllers, greasy fingers melted by the heat from cooling fans, or even, Gaben forbid, missing a Half-Life 3 Easter egg in a Valve game, while we’re rushing off to get some snacks.
McDonald’s not to be outdone and out businesses by other folks has jumped onto the bandwagon of the colossal video gaming industry, never too late, better than never, I say.
And it seems that they have chosen to compete with other gaming companies in the place where they are the best suited, obe-, I mean, snacking. Or in this case, snacking chairs. This makes sense, if you’re good at making people sit and eat, then focus on that, focus on what you’re good at, that’s the only way to succeed.
And they have done just that, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the unmitigated food coma, The McCrispy Ultimate Gaming Chair, not to be confused with UFC, where you have to exercise, even if it is just your fingers.
It has a range of functionalities for your McFingers to dig into, such as:
- A Fry Holder
- Two Dip-Holders
- A hot box for hot food
- Stain-Proof Leather for that extra sexy
- An Independently targetting particle phalanx, kidding, we were just checking if you’re still paying attention, and
- As you guessed, modular, yes you heard right, modular armrests so that you can switch food effortlessly while swimming pools in GTA V.
For the unfortunate uninitiated this pleasurable luxury is not for the gaming peasant, but for gaming aristocratic blue blood, you have to enter into a raffle, a drawing prize, win, and then you can taunt your salty foes in the game, while you taunt your belly with salty fries.
Its name comes from a new burger offering in Great Britain by McDonald’s, called, you guessed it, The crispy, large, sumptuous-looking chicken burger, which incidentally fits perfectly well in your lounge chair food holster.
McDonald’s has tried hard to ingratiate itself with gaming culture in the past, with their FaZe Clan partnership to bring you special peripherals with their thanksgiving, friends gaming offerings that you can check out in reference two if you so wish.
They added crispy chicken sandwiches with their peripheral happy meal, this might be a theme.
All we hope for now is for one of the other big players like Wendy’s or Burger King to bring us a bread-encrusted laser gaming mouse and that’ll make our day, I say.
All this crispiness really wants us to give everyone a Mortal Kombat TOASTY!!!!