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Can you "age out" of the LGBT community?

Matthew J. Dempsey sits down with longtime friend Eric Rutherford to discuss growing older in the LGBT community.
Photo credit:
Matthew J. Dempsey

Psychotherapist and journalist Matthew J. Dempsey has covered many topics in the LGBT community and this week he's discussing one which affects every human being: age. 

In the notoriously agist LGBT community, the term "daddy" carries with it a few connotations. One, to describe someone who is older, and two, someone who prefers to date and care for younger men. 

Eric Rutherford fits one of those definitions and part of the other, but as with most prejudicial terms, there is so much more to it than that. 

In Dempsey's latest video, he sits down with Rutherford to examine what it means to move past your thirties and into your forties and fifties.  

"Growing up gay, most of us didn't have parents who shared that identity and could guide us through that experience as we stepped into adulthood," says Dempsey. "Enter the gay daddy. Whether for friendship or romance, we can easily find ourselves drawn to older gay men for answers we never got and always needed."

In this eye-opening discussion, the two men share their personal feelings, Dempsey recounts a heartbreaking story about a past love who couldn't take the pressure.

The guys have been friends for a while and in this open discussion prove that the term "daddy," although benign when used as a biological concept, can, as most colloquialisms, carry a stigma when used in a social circle. 

If there's one thing that Dempsey wants to get across in this discussion, it's "how to keep a positive attitude through it all."