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Ditch the icing, you're cake underneath it all

If you are depressed, you are living in the past.
If you are anxious, you are living in the future.
If you are at peace, you are living in the present.

-Lao Tzu

There’s a balance that needs to be struck between striving to be better than you were yesterday, and comparing yourself to who you used to be. I’m a big guy, and I want to be bigger; but where I am today is still a place I’m grateful to have made it to.

We could make comparisons to what our skin used to look like, what our weight used to be, even what our life used to be like before an injury; at the end of this reflection, are we left with an inspiration to action or have we mired ourselves into the unattainable fantasy that change is not the only constant?

The LGBTQ communities have grown adept at learning to accept their metaphysical selves. But when it comes to the standards placed on our physical selves, I think most agree that we may be the harshest and most unrealistic.

Like anything else, there are a million reasons as to why this could be.

One of them for me was growing up knowing that I had a bunch of friends that were girls, because they thought I was cute and thought I was funny. There was another kid that was in theater, who was quiet and not traditionally good looking. He had few friends and a totally different experience.

To be accepted I thought I needed to be the best looking and make everyone laugh.

This served me well until it became to define me.

I told myself some really sad ideas. Like if I had a belly I wouldn’t be attractive to my boyfriend, or if I wasn’t the life of the party my friends would lose interest.

We have a lot more to offer than just our images.

All of this isn’t to say you shouldn’t try to get active, lose weight, or even get that laser facial peel! Accepting that face and loving the person underneath it is the foundation for contentment.

All the other stuff is the icing… and honestly, I don’t even like icing on cakes.