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Filth2Go: December 4, 2009

"I'm Kathleen Turner. You might have seen me on TV, or in old movies." - Kathleen Turner introduces herself to one of the recipients of her Thanksgiving dinner deliveries for New York's Citymeals-on-Wheels. It's a speech I believe she gives on all national holidays - and more than a few local ones.

I have to be very quiet. One of the most gorgeous men on the planet is sleeping just inches away from me. Daniel Craig, "James Bond" himself, is on the other side of my headboard. Admittedly, there's a wall separating us, but since when has that stopped me? I must confess it's causing some interesting dreams. I never considered winching into Halle Berry's bikini...but for Danny, I'd be willing to give it a go.

This week, I'm in New York (where Craig and Jackman are completing their run of "A Steady Rain") seeing some shows, shmoozing with some celebs, all the while attempting to fly under the radar. I did catch Jude Law's "Hamlet" and loved everything about the production - except the ending which fell flat. The new cast of "God of Carnage" is wonderful - particularly Christine Lahti. Annie Potts is slow to get going, but once she does, she's dynamite. And the new provocative gay play "Loaded" features compelling performances by still-sexy Kevin Spirtas and Scott Kerns. Yes, there's full-frontal nudity. No, I didn't get it for posterity. Sometimes I'm on my best behavior.

Its official - Kelsey Grammer will make his Broadway musical debut in next year's revival of "La Cage aux Folles" playing "Georges" opposite the amazing Douglas Hodge, who won all the theatre awards in London for his portrayal of "Albin/Zaza." The show starts previews on April 6th.

Some celebs are playing gay, others have been playing straight. Take Meredith Baxter. Is anyone reading this column surprised that she's a lesbian? We're a perceptive bunch. We notice things. Like Ann Coulter's Adam's apple - I noticed that years ago. Getting back to Meredith, apparently she lives an openly gay life when she's not working (which is most of the time). But once the "National Enquirer" got pics of her on a lesbian cruise, the story went public (adding fuel to the fire was the presence of Kelly McGillis on the same boat - maybe they were filming a special edition of "The Surreal Life"?). Baxter has since revealed that she's been dating Nancy Locke (a building contractor) for four years, and they moved in together two years ago. By the way, the person who got the scoop was my buddy Frank DeCaro on Sirius OutQ.

Remember a few weeks ago when I told you that sexy Matthew Bomer (from "White Collar" on the USA network) is gay? We even ran some pics of him making out with a guy. Turns out, the guy is Mike White, an ex-boyfriend. And he's issued a statement: "Matt and I dated from November 2001 - February 2004. This was a long time ago. I haven't spoken to him in about 2 years or maybe more. I wish Matt happiness and success in his life and career." Of course, it doesn't quite explain how the photos of them making out went public - but it gives us the chance to run them again on BillyMasters.com. There's also a mega-hot snap of Mike in his undies that warrants posting. At least Bomer and White both have good taste!

The big story this week is Grady Sizemore, who none of you ever heard of before, but who apparently plays center field for the Cleveland Indians. Who knew there were Indians in Cleveland? Grady is very hot, which I suppose goes without saying when you're a 27-year-old professional athlete. None of this would interest me in the slightest, except for a number of extremely risqué photos taken in front of his bathroom mirror wearing only underwear - and sometimes less! Apparently, he had a habit of taking sexy pics of himself with his iPhone and sending them to his girlfriend, who happens to be a "Playboy" Playmate. So far, snaps from three photo sessions have surfaced. I'm torn about a favorite - is it the one of him in his underwear with a jar of Vaseline on the counter in front of him, or the nude one with him covering his privates with a cup of tea? I guess I prefer the one of him tea bagging, literally. And, if you look closely, you get a glimpse of his testicles dangling beneath the cup. You can check 'em out for yourself at BillyMasters.com.

We got some good news from our own Tyler Perry. He may be busy nowadays with TV and films, but he never forgets that his first love - theatre. For the first time in five years, he's going back on the road and touring in a brand new "Madea" play - "Madea's Big Happy Family." The play opens on January 4th in Denver, Colorado, and will play one-night gigs through the spring. The full schedule can be found at TylerPerry.com.

You know what it's time for? "Billy's Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions." I like to recommend a few of my favorite things as possible gifts my readers would enjoy. Since we're talking about theatre, I'm going to direct you to www.BroadwayCares.org. There you'll find books, CDs, DVDs, everything that a self-respecting (or even self-loathing) queen could want. If you're looking for videos of, say, the annual "Broadway Bares" benefit, go to www.BroadwayBeat.com. All proceeds from both sites go to Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. A win/win.

Remember Ryan Barry? The hot fitness model who was dating someone who was once on a reality show? Well, he's now happily coupled with Lieutenant Colonel Victor Fehrenbach. You may recall the story of Fehrenbach - an 18-year veteran of the Air Force who was discharged two years short of a full pension under "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (note the pattern). The couple showed up at last week's AIDS Service Foundation fundraiser in Orange County dressed as hunky Santas - and they were certainly hunky! Check out the pics on BillyMasters.com.

Our "Ask Billy" question this week is from Lane in Baltimore: "Did you see '2012'? Who was that hot Russian pilot? Man, oh man, was he hot! And he looks familiar."

I did see the film - the less said the better (I hope John Cusack got lots of money for this stinker). The hot Russian is Johann Urb and if he looks familiar, you might have seen him on the soon-to-be-departing "Eastwick," where he played the newspaper photographer who has dated not one but two of the female co-stars. By the way, he may have played Russian, but he's actually Estonian. Alas, he's married to a woman and is so heterosexual that he's been quoted as saying, "I'm a guy's guy. I don't like to tinker in front of a mirror in the morning. Shaving is not my thing." I'm a guy's guy too - but apparently it means a different thing when I say it! Anyway, we do have some sizzling skin shots worth seeing, so check out BillyMasters.com.

When Grady could be the new Vaseline spokesperson, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Being in NYC got me right into the holiday spirit. The tree at Rockefeller Center. The carolers in Times Square. Even the Naked Cowboy and his blue balls. We're all about spreading cheer. In fact, there'll even be one of our periodic special deals on www.BillyMasters.com coming up sometime before the New Year, so be sure to keep checking back. If you've got a question, just drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I figure out how to break through this wall without waking 007! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.