A couple of weeks ago, my friend Jason accurately pointed out that the bio accompanying my column says that I am single and he said I needed to fix that.
So I took that to heart and got myself single.
Now, rather than going through a long breakup column like I did the last time a relationship ended, I am going to try and take the high road here by only sharing two details.
One is that I am the one who broke up with him. The other? Women who are the subject of Lifetime made-for-TV-movies would look at me and say "Damn, that is fucked up!"
With that said, I realized something the moment I changed my facebook status to single; there are a lot of guys I have met in the past year that want me. It got me to thinking, when you’re going through a breakup … isn’t it always nice to have options?
On The Bright Side
My friend Brian and I had been planning to go country dancing for months but with busy schedules on both ends, it was hard for us to plan a day for it. Fortunately or unfortunately - depending on how you look at it - we had plans to go out just two days after the big breakup went down. I had mixed feelings about going out in general, but I went for it and somewhere between the shots of Wild Turkey and line dancing to Carrie Underwood’s Cowboy Casanova, things got better.
While Brian was at the bar grabbing us another round, I decided to check email and Facebook on my Blackberry.
Brian caught me reading a message and quickly said, "That better not be an email from him!"
I smiled and held up the message for him to see, which read, "Hey! Didn't realize you're single now. I am too ... maybe we should hang out sometime ... :)"
Brian looked at me and said, "Well that’s promising!"
And I added, "Oh yeah, he’s definitely on my ‘to do’ list!"
When You're Smiling
"You know what that little smiley face at the end means, don’t you?" asked my friend Hunter, as we were heading to lunch on the lot the next day. "It means he wants to hook up!"
I smiled in agreement and while on the subject of hook ups, asked him if we were going to his “friend” Matt’s pool party that weekend.
"Oh you got the invite too?" he asked.
"Yeah, I was totally confused when I first got the invite," I explained. "You’ve really got to stop telling me guys names based on where you hook up with them. I thought his last name was baker for the last 3 months."
Hunter smiled and added, "I met him at William Sonoma, what else was I supposed to put him in my phone as?"
I took off from work a day early so I could come down to San Diego and turn my three-day weekend into a four-day weekend. While my friends had to work on Friday, I thought it was the perfect chance to decompress on my own.
I decided to spend some quality time with the new Kylie Minogue album while laying out at Black's Beach.
As I was leaving the beach, I called my buddy Will to confirm dinner plans at Jimmy Carter’s Mexican Café. He asked me if there were any cute guys [at the beach] and I admitted that although a cute 26 year old was hitting on me, I knew I had to go home and get ready for dinner, so I turned him on to a bigger, more muscular guy as I was leaving.
“Pay it forward girl,” Will said to me. “It will come back to you three-fold!”
After dinner that night, my friends and I ended up at Martini's Above Fourth for cocktails and gossip. I had given them the download of all of the drama that had taken place over the last two weeks and my feelings on having options and emails from guys that included smileys.
As I was sampling one of the latest concoctions they’d come up with at the bar (which isn’t on the menu yet, but is my newest favorite), I felt a vibration in my pants, so I whipped out my blackberry to see what the message was.
I smiled as I read the message that said, "I heard you’re in town for the 4th =) shoot me a text if you'd like to meet up!"
I quickly held my phone up for my friend Brian to read, but he didn’t get what my excitement was about.
"It included a BIG smiley," I proclaimed. "He’s definitely on my to do list now, too!"
Anytime you go through a breakup things get hard and you ask yourself all kinds of questions. Was what we had real? Did he mean the things he said? Why didn’t I see the signs when I knew there was trouble?
The thing is, no matter how many questions you ask, you will never know the truth of the situation. What makes it a little easier to sleep at night is knowing you have options … and I am not just talking about cute guys coming after you (but that helps too).
Whether it’s friends who take you back to your roots with a little country western dancing, or to a pool party with plenty of distractions, it’s always good to know who’s got your back.
Your friends will remind you that you’ve got good karma and things do work out for the best. I guess what it comes down to is, I may be single but I am not alone and that’s not an option with friends like mine.
Travis D. Bone is a Los Angeles based writer and a graduate of the University of California at San Diego. After spending 13 years in San Diego where his journalism efforts earned him a San Diego Press Club award he took his chances on moving to Los Angeles to become a television writer. Now he’s working in finance for a studio, so that didn’t turn out quite the way he expected. On the upside he’s still writing, still single and still living it up splitting time between Los Angeles and San Diego. In short he’s got a lot of stories to tell.