When a special fruit, Fernan Passionfruit, approached me about organizing the Miss Fruit Fly San Diego 2011 pageant, I couldn’t say no. I had never heard of there being such a pageant before. It was fascinating!
Apparently, Passionfruit had been doing a bit of research about such a pageant. There’s one being held in New York every year using the term I like least. So, for now (or at least in my column), we will refer to this pageant being held in New York as the “Miss Produce Girl” pageant.
In this annual pageant, fellow fruit flies and produce girls compete for the honor of being called “Miss Produce Girl.” I initially thought it was a wonderful idea to show support and awareness. However, what we came to find was that the pageant in New York is quite demeaning to women (as if we don’t get enough of that in the straight scene).
This is something that I didn’t understand. Why in the world would they choose to demean women? As far as I know, when I’m hanging with my fruits, they’re not being hurtful or attempting to ruin my image. That’s just plain “klassy” with a “k.”
So we thought, Why not make this a fun pageant and even get our moodles involved? Plus, San Diego is way classier than that!
To make this an event to remember, we came up with a few ideas that our fruit flies, produce girls and moodles will enjoy. In the spirit of keeping it light and fun but upholding some of the pageant values, we decided to judge on the following:
1. Fruit flies must answer why they feel they would be a wonderful Miss Fruit Fly San Diego 2011.
2. They’ll be judged on how well they can dress their moodle. Each Miss Fruit Fly contestant must dress their moodle in the most stylish outfit. (This is my favorite part! Everyone loves a good looking fruit strutting their stuff!)
3. Instead of an evening gown competition, the Miss Fruit Fly contestants will be judged on their best clubbing outfit.
4. As in normal pageant competition, Miss Fruit Fly contestants will pick a question from a fish bowl which they’ll need to answer to the best of their ability.
It is important that our Miss Fruit Fly contestant be an ally for the LBGT community, that she is fun and that she is as passionate about the cause as the LBGT community is. I mean, let’s be real people! It’s a pageant and our winner needs to be nothing less than fabulous! Miss Fruit Fly San Diego 2011 will have her very own float during Pride 2011.
You may be asking yourself, Who is going to judge the Miss Fruit Fly pageant? I’m glad you asked! Here is a list of people in the San Diego LBGT community who are already on board:
• Yours truly, S.T. Fernandez, America’s Finest Fruit Fly (judge)
• Ben Cartwright, SDGLN staff writer (judge)
• Brenda Hernandez, Miss Gay San Diego 2010 (judge)
• Surprise judge!
• Surprise judge!
• Justice Paige Counce, Miss Gay California USofA 2007 (Hostess with the Mostess)
We’re looking at special celebrity judge who will be sure to make everyone smile. As far as a venue, we’re still considering a few places to hold this marvelous event (COUGH … COUGH … Rich’s …COUGH … COUGH!).
On top of the Miss Fruit Fly pageant, it is important to know that all proceeds for the event will be donated to The Center and The Trevor Project.
If it’s one thing I have found about Hillcrest, it’s that the gayborhood will find any excuse to have a great time. And why the hell not? Life is good! I look forward to meeting some of my fellow fruit flies and produces girls of Hillcrest. See you all at the most classy fruit fly pageant on the planet on July 9, 2011!
Any fellow fruit flies/produce girls of Hillcrest area who are interested in competing as a contestant in the Miss Fruit Fly San Diego 2011 Pageant, please e-mail us at email@example.com for details.
There is also graphic design contest for T-shirts while will be handed out at the event. The design winner will receive a gift certificate for a haircut at Denise Barrow Salon, dinner for two at Buonissimo, and bragging rights! If you’re interested, please contact us for details.
The purpose of this event will be to celebrate the friendships made between our fruit flies and our moodles. I dearly look forward to organizing the event. Should any of my moodles and woodles have any suggestions or would like to participate, please e-mail us.
S.T. Fernandez, America's Finest Fruit Fly,
I’m always interested in your comments and feedback. You can view this and other articles on my blog at www.AmericasFinestFruitFly.com. These are my documented experiences of a straight girl in the gayborhood. While I am a novelist, I feel inspired to make others laugh by writing about the situations I've experienced as a result of hanging out with my moodles. Thanks for the content, my friends!